


Missing You More Than My Flight

by breakfastbeebo



Series: Ryden One-shots [6]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Chance Meetings, Cute Ending, M/M, Post-Split, Romantic Fluff, present day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:56:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8347843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakfastbeebo/pseuds/breakfastbeebo
Summary: Typically, you could pass through an airport without seeing a single person you knew. But, of course, Brendon didn't even take a step in the building before he bumped into the only person he would never expect to see.How can he be expected to fit everything he's ever wanted to say into a short three minute smalltalk conversation?





	

Brendon liked to think he was lucky. Considering how his life had changed course, he liked to think he was a very lucky and fortunate individual. Of course, the day the band was planning to fly to New York for a show, all his displaced bad luck caught up with him. Brendon was supposed to spend about six hours in a small metal contraption and it was _raining_. He already hated flying, then to add turbulence, howling wind, and pelting rain, Brendon was sure he would have to be sedated to even sit at the gate.

“Why couldn’t we have parked _closer_?” Brendon sighed, even though the band members on either side of him couldn’t hear over the commotion of pattering raindrops and pounding footsteps. “I don’t want to sit in a stiff plastic chair for three hours _wet_.”

“If you walk faster, you won’t have to.” Dallon replied, having finally heard Brendon. He took longer strides and pulled away from Brendon, following Zack who was already under cover waiting by the door.

Brendon rolled his eyes and pulled his hood further over his head. The wind was causing the raindrops to fall at an angle, forcing Brendon to duck his head and stare at his feet as he marched along. Brendon reached the sidewalk, keeping up his stride to try to reach the door- but also trying to avoid the dozens of people with luggage waiting to be picked up or being dropped off.

The multitasking was too much for Brendon and he eventually failed at walking around someone and instead attempted to walk _through_ them.

“Shit. Sorry. Not watching where I’m going.” Brendon sighed, pulling on the sides of his hood.

“That’s okay.”

Brendon expected there to at least be a scoff, a sigh, _some_ sign of disapproval, but the voice was completely even, nonchalant, and _monotone_. The lack of malice towards an irritating mistake made Brendon stop, curious to see who could possibly have _that_ response. Brendon was able to let go of his hood as he turned away from the wind, looking at the bored looking man, unbothered by the rain beating down on him, rolling right off his leather jacket. He had his head ducked, peering at his phone, his hair hanging by the sides of his face. Brendon took a step to turn away from the man when he lifted his gaze, hand going through his hair and pulling it away from his eyes.

Brendon nearly tripped as he rerouted his steps. “Ryan?” The man didn’t turn towards him. “ _Ryan Ross_.”

His head whipped to the side to face the abrupt introduction. “Brendon?” Ryan blinked quickly at the hooded man stepping up to him quickly. Brendon came within normal speaking distance and both of their arms went up, about to hug, but fell before either could notice the other moving.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“How… How are you?” Brendon asked, using his falling arms to motion toward him.

“I’m great. Doing great.” Ryan nodded, running his hands through his hair again. “How about you? How are you?”

“Good.” Brendon responded, already feeling the tension he had from his walk through the storm melting away. “Who are you waiting for?” Ryan didn’t have any bags by his feet or on his back. “Are you flying out today?”

“No, I’m waiting for Dan. He’s parking right now, hopefully, and then we are picking up a friend.” Ryan explained, using the first name of a man Brendon didn’t know out of habit; Ryan’s friends were always Brendon’s too. Same circles, same friends, same life. They shared everything. “What about you? You seemed to be traveling heavy today.”

“Oh, yeah. Got a show tomorrow.” Brendon readjusted his stuffed backpack as he nodded. “Flying out to New York.”

“New York. Wow.” Ryan raised his eyebrows and nodded with impressment, making a quiet sound of approval. “That’s amazing- hope you have fun.”

“I hope I get there alive.” Brendon muttered, looking up at the storm clouds overhead.

“It’ll pass before you take off, I’m sure.” Ryan had been on enough flights with Brendon. He had been on the same flight that lost electricity twice; he understood Brendon’s anxiety without any extra detail.

“Brendon! Come _on!_ ” Brendon’s growing smile was curbed into a grimace as Zack called after him, clapping his hands. “Get out of the rain already.”

“Just give me a second.” Brendon shouted back. He turned back to Ryan and suddenly had nothing left to say; all his words couldn’t be expressed in the few minutes he had just borrowed. Brendon stared at Ryan, who only watched expectantly, his hair sliding back down to hang in his face as the rain came down harder. “Why don’t you go inside?” It was all Brendon could muster, but he thought it made his point.

“Dan hasn’t really been here before- I want him to see me so he doesn’t get lost.” Ryan explained, looking back out at the passing cars. “I don’t mind.” Ryan was soaking wet from head to toe, but had a bright smile on his face as Brendon laughed and shook his head at the ridiculousness of Ryan’s sentence.

He was the same; he hadn’t translated all his pages into a language Brendon couldn’t decode. They were still on the same page, still in the same world, still in the same moment. Brendon was glad that it hadn’t been the full seven years that the two of their paths had spent running in opposite directions, but even the one year between run-ins made time feel like it was stealing every moment from them. Like time had the ability to scramble all of their words into sputtering, stumbling failures that would only weave more time in between their next collision.

“Brendon, come _on-_ ” Dallon was beside him now, pulling on his arm.

“Hey, Dallon.” Ryan and Dallon knew each other only through associations with other friends (namely Brendon), but Ryan had a pleasant grin like the two of them were catching up from old times. Only Brendon could see the smugness creeping underneath the smile.

“Ryan. Hi, how are you.” Dallon replied, stating his name first as if to fact check his vision was based in reality and not a hallucination.

“Great.” Ryan replied, still no malice to the question. “Waiting for my friend.”

Dallon’s eyes fell to Brendon briefly before going back to Ryan. “Very nice. Make sure you stay dry though. Can’t be good to just be standing out in this weather.” Dallon looked around, trying to locate an awning or shelter of any kind to point out.

“That’s okay- here he comes. _Walk **faster** , Dan._ The rain isn’t exactly comfortable!” Ryan shouted, spotting a man running through the sheets of rain. “If he ever takes more than three steps per minute, I’ll be inside shortly. Promise.” He smiled at Dallon before looking at Brendon with a more assuring expression.

They were going to be wordless again; let everything pass between them with understandable expressions and glances, but still leave everything unsaid. Brendon thought it was what he wanted, to feel that same warming comfort flare up in his chest when he knew what Ryan was thinking- thinking about him. But it was always never enough; just enough of a taste to leave Brendon scrambling to chase it, to find it again, to relive every moment of it until he had warped the memory into something meaningless. He could already feel his ears ringing, searching for Ryan’s voice to speak to him rather than his eyes convey a message that Brendon could only hope he got exactly right.

“Not to cut either of you off,” Dallon said, turning back to Brendon. “But we need to start getting our bags checked or we will never make the flight.”

“Okay, okay, yeah. Uh, I gotta go, so-”

“No, yeah, yeah no problem. Have fun in New York- and don’t worry about the flight, alright?”

“Thanks.” Brendon stepped away from Ryan, following Dallon. “It was nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too.” Ryan returned, smiling at Brendon just before Dan reached him, slapping his shoulder and making the grin disappear in a blink as he turned away.

Brendon turned away as well, walking further away, and completing the ritual. 

Dallon didn’t say anything as they rejoined the other band members standing in line for security. They stood quietly, the day already reaching its limit of frustration before they even stepped foot on the plane. All they needed now was to have a baby on the flight. They stood for an hour, soaking wet in line, and it didn’t seem to matter how much time had passed, they always seemed to be in the very middle of the line.

“What time is the flight again?” Brendon asked, pulling his phone out to check the time.

He heard Zack respond shortly, having confidence in his answer, but Brendon didn’t hear it. He nodded and pretended to comprehend it as he stared down at the alert on his phone.

 

_1 new message from Ryan Ross x_

_Received 3:19pm_

_Sorry we got cut off. It really was nice to see you_

 

Brendon stared down at the words finally being conveyed to him. His fingers hovered over the keys trying to decide what was the appropriate thing to say in order to pull the first brick out of the wall scaling seven years.

 

_Received 3:20pm_

_I forgot how much I could miss you_

 

Brendon looked up from his phone, somehow expecting Ryan to be standing there, across the room, leaning against a wall, typing out the words that were twisting up every part of Brendon. The chase hadn’t been very far and the withdraw had been minimal, but every word was nothing like Brendon could have ever asked for. They were finally Ryan’s word, not ghostly repetitions of time that had slipped through his fingers.

 

  _Sent 3:22pm_

_I didn’t expect to see you but I am so glad I did_

 

Brendon pressed send and slid his phone into his pocket before he had time to regret his words, or send a follow up text that would dilute his sincerity. Brendon only had the time to take a step up behind Kenny before his phone vibrated with a new message. He opened it quickly, keeping his phone angled upward and away from anyone standing beside him.

 

_Received 3:24pm_

_I want to see you again_

 

Why did Brendon have to flying across the country _now_?

 

_Received 3:24pm_

_I want to see you everyday_

 

_Sent 3:30pm_

_How do we do that?_

 

_Received 3:31pm_

_Tell me when you get back and we’ll work from there._

 

_Received 3:32pm_

_I’ve waited a lot longer for a lot less_

 

Waited two years to just have a momentary run-in surrounded by people who knew every moment of history except the ones that mattered; the ones that were making their hands twitch at their sides because they functioned the best when they were intertwined; the ones that brought Brendon’s body an inch closer when he laughed; the ones that made Ryan laugh longer than any joke Brendon told permitted; the ones that made every eye watching them feel like surveillance, poisoning their words and pushing them back into silence.

 

_Sent 3:34pm_

_I think we leave tomorrow at night. I should be back in California by the late afternoon._

 

_Sent 3:34pm_

_I can tell you when I land._

 

Brendon had never been more thankful for the rushed schedule provided by pop-up performances for singular venues or shows. Typically, the hit and run feeling made Brendon feel like he was a jukebox, ready to repeat whatever song you’d like for the three minutes you’d be willing to pay any form of money or attention to him. But now, he understood. There were things waiting back home. Always things waiting. And this time, he wasn’t going to let it slip past him.

 

_Received 3:36pm_

_Please do_

 

_Received 3:38pm_

_Why is it we always seem to let time spring up between us_

_Sent 3:40pm_

_Because it’s the one thing that always had us figured out, I guess._

 

Everyone else around them was clueless, but time kept ticking on, knowing each second that came and went, each ‘now’ that held sparkling eyes and pink lips, was one that would fade away into a ‘yesterday’ that was never as satisfying the second time around. Time kept moving on, not even allowing its shadow of nostalgia to bless them with positive memories. Time moved along and put them in the dark, letting them keep nothing for themselves.

 

_Received 3:42pm_

_Seven years was too long. We can’t do that again. That was horrible_

 

Ryan used ‘we’ and Brendon felt his phone begin to slip in his hands. He looked up again, searching the crowds for that leather jacket, for the hair that was slowly drying by now, for the same slow but determined stride that kept Ryan walking beside him for five years. But of course, he wasn’t around. Time was going to keep them standing at opposite sides of the Earth, at two separate ends of time itself, before letting their paths return to their parallel track. It was always going to be the one thing that kept them apart-

“Hey, Brendon.” Dallon was tapping Brendon’s arm with the hand unoccupied by his phone. Brendon looked over at him quickly, tucking his own phone away, to see Dallon pointing across the room. “Over there.”

Brendon followed Dallon’s line of sight to see group of three crossing the floor to the door, a familiar face staring right back at him. Ryan lifted a hand and waved at Brendon, his face lighting up into a smile. Brendon did the same, waving before nodding shortly. Ryan’s friends began involving him in their conversation, his attention being tugged away, but before his eyes left Brendon he made sure to give him the oldest ritual they had: a wink.

“Pretty weird you ran into him here.” Dallon noted, looking at his phone and responding to a text. “Who would have thought, right?”

“Yeah,” Brendon agreed, looking down at the new message displayed on his phone. “Pure luck, I guess.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you liked this little one-shot (and my indie band-like title)  
> If you want to see more present day stuff, let me know here or on Tumblr (@breakfastbeebo). My ask is always open!


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